To Young Moms – The Hardcore Truth

It seems to be more common nowadays to see a teenage girl with a baby. It’s hard to look at any one gal and not assume they are already “tampered with”. For me, anyways, I look at most teenage girls with a sense of agonizing wonder as to what they do in their secret life. Not that I’m creepy, but because it tears me up inside the inevitable ignorance they live by. A mere teenaged child with the mentality that they know what is the best decision, that they are “adults” and know how life works. We were all teenagers before. We all can relate to a time that we honestly thought we knew what was best for us. In fact, it’s hard for me to write this knowing that I was a teenager only 3 years ago. I’m sure I’ve lost some credibility in my opinion from here on out and I’m sure there are some stuck up noses as to why I of all people have the right to write such a post. Well, show me some grace. As I have a loving aching heart for young girls, especially those who have the life changing circumstance of a child.

I’m not here to call the kettle black or sit high and mighty claiming that I got it right and I know what is best. I’m merely offering encouragement to those who struggle with the thought that their life is over now OR that they are too closed off into their own knowledge to better themselves as a woman instead of staying a girl.

There are a few things I notice is some young mothers:

Arrogance is one. Obviously, they thought they knew best by having sex with that guy behind the bleachers. It’s not like they don’t know what sex does, or what its purpose is actually intended for. They are above that. They are “in love” and they aren’t naive enough to let it “go too far”. They know better than to get pregnant. But just like that, those butterflies turn into morning sickness, the control of not going too far is lost and now their “love of their life” is too good for her problems. And now she has a baby. {This is just an example scenario} Deep down, she realizes she’s not all that and a bag of chips. Now she has more things she needs to handle and act like she knows what she’s doing with.

Insecurity. Quite simply, they are not secured enough in themselves and seek out a boy to give them worth and security. Then adding a baby to that gives them some sort of meaning, or purpose. But, also leads to more insecurity. Which stems from ignorance. Maybe they don’t know what all is involved with having sex with a boy. Maybe they do naively let it go too far out of curiosity. Then, BAM! they have a baby, yet they don’t even know how to take care of themselves. Some can’t even drive yet! And here they are holding a newborn awkwardly, wondering how to feed it, how this and that works, why the baby constantly cries, why it won’t sleep at night, etc. You’ll hear them complain most because they simply don’t even know how to deal with conflict or inconveniences yet! Then they may start raising it how they want to be raised and end up with another ignorant selfish teenager down the road.

Which brings me to the biggest thing I’ve noticed, selfishness. And quite frankly, it all boils down to this one. They’re selfish with control of their lives, they’re selfish with their physical needs, they’re selfish by resenting the life they created, and {controversial topic warning} they’re selfish for not wanting the child and aborting it. And they’re selfish for not wanting to commit to the circumstances they face because of the selfish decisions they chose. But let’s be real here, we are ALL like that no matter what chapter of life we’re in. But, in my opinion it’s slightly more detrimental when you add innocent lives to the mix.

This stirs up a question in my mind though. Where are their parents? What are their parents like?
I’ve decided that one parents as they were parented or influenced. However, it is true that one can take their own path, but unless they seek out better environments and influences, I’m afraid that all they will know is what they see and hear. That is to say that even though she grew up in an abusive home with bad influences, if she seeks out a better alternative and decides that there is something better than her environment, then she has the power to break that cycle.
Although, it’s not always the parents fault. You could be the best parents ever and still have your child go off the deep end. A child reaches a certain point in their life, or rather their mind, that they can now make decisions and be who they want to be. I find that to be a tool of Satan that he uses to corrupt the vulnerable minds.

I can only imagine the inner struggles and inner demons these girls deal with day-to-day. The secrets they hide, the barriers they put up, the lies they tell themselves. The constant guilt, regrets, reminders. The ever pressing thoughts they have about succeeding in life, their dreams seemingly disappearing. The anger they have about being forced into a life they didn’t want. The chronic hurt they have. The abuse they inflict on themselves. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to me! The thought of them giving up on life. Not in a sense of suicide, which sadly is a choice some make, but giving up on life while living. Giving up on becoming more, overcoming their struggles, bracing for the storm instead of embracing it. Don’t they know that there is more out there than the imprisonment they put themselves in? Oh, how they could only know of the shinning light right in front of them gleaming ever so brightly. But instead they shield their eyes, put up walls, lie to themselves, and cast themselves away from the opportunity to be more.

We all make bad choices. We are simply human. It’s not the choices that ruin us, it’s how we deal with the consequences of those choices. Sometimes, there is no telling whether a choice set before us is right or wrong. As life is a risk, a gamble. Even if you are in the truth, wise, and seem to know pretty well between right and wrong, there will still be choices that we make that end up not being what we thought. That is why not allowing yourself to be consumed by the wrongness of the choice and instead growing and overcoming it is so vital. Knowing that you are NOT alone, that where you are in life, where your influences and environment is, that doesn’t have to be your prison. Sadly, wherever you go in this world, you’ll find bad influences and environments. But you’ll also find good ones, too. The best one of all is allowing Christ to hold your hand, comfort you, give you worth and security, and allow him to refurbish you into a glorious woman by using your struggles and tragedies and making them into something beautiful. You are not done in this life, woman. You have a beautiful child, or children, that look to you, that rely on you, that trust you. Who do you want them to see? Who do you want them to be? Do you want them to see you as a struggling mother working 3 jobs and always seeming down and worn out, or do you want them to see a positive, empowered woman who overcame her struggles and now shines a light so bright to others?

 

Did I describe you here? Did this hit a tender spot for you? Tell me about it. I want to hear your story. How do you plan to overcome your struggles. Have you overcome them already? Do you want to see yourself in a different life?

 

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