My life as I know it

My Life as I Know It

1917206_1272009681154_6042599_nWhat better way to start off this story than to start with being born, again. I won’t go into the whole “I was born this day, this is what my childhood was like” nonsense. Although it was a cherishing part of my life, it’s irrelevant. My real story starts when I gave my life to Christ and then was baptized in His name when I was 13 years old. I had grown up in your typical Christian atmosphere – going to church every Sunday and then playing in the basement with the other kids while my parents gathered with their “Life Groups”. Shortly after our family had a huge turn in direction and had moved to my Grandfather’s farm, I realized I needed a stronger relationship with Christ than my innocent recollection of Jesus. We joined a new church where I began getting involved with the youth group. At that point my walk with God grew deeper and I was baptized shortly after.
At thirteen, I didn’t really know what to expect from this new perspective. It wasn’t like I was coming out of a bad life. I dilly-dallied through life as any typical middle school student. However, after about a year, drama hit our home. {which is a story in and of itself so don’t get too attached to that subject.} I grew up around bad influences from my Uncle, Aunt and Grandfather. They lived in a separate house on the farm, however that didn’t stop the annoyance of Police showing up every other night because of some ridiculous outburst. They all were very heavy drinkers. I have no doubt that they did some sort of drugs that I purposefully ignored. It was a very interesting learning environment. I could have easily found their “stash”. I could have easily taken on their influence. I could have easily been the typical teenager, it seemed, in our not-so-little-anymore town. And I knew the temptation was intentionally sitting on a silver platter for me because I had chosen Christ and a righteous life. And because I was new to this walk, my will and strength wouldn’t be so strong – or so the devil thought. Because, before I said “I do” to Christ I already had a stubborn and rebellious attitude built into me. I was not of the norm. I didn’t follow the crowd, usually. I was my own person from human birth. And to much of Satan’s dismay, I didn’t use that demeanor to his benefit. Well, not fully anyway. I’m pretty sure I’ve swerved toward the dark side a little bit growing up. But who hasn’t really?
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Throughout high school was very dramatic. I met a really cute guy at the fair at fourteen. After six months, I decided that nagging my parents every weekend to drive 30 minutes to see this boy for a few hours was a bit more work than the actual relationship. At the time, it was your typical “meet a boy, date, then break up” feeling. But when the fair came around again, we met and it was awkward. But in a “I think I still like you” way. Fair passed, and we went on with life. Meanwhile, my relationship with my mother grew weaker and troubled. I’m not sure why. It wasn’t like I was actively trying to ruin the bond, but it just so happened that we didn’t see eye-to-eye anymore. {I’m sure I’m speaking for many other teenagers out there.} That didn’t stop me from doing what I thought was best. Not out of spite, but because I felt “alone” to make decisions. Of course, I had God with me  and a lot of good support from significant mentors in my life. My parents did teach me a lot. And I give a good amount of credit to them for that. {If you’re my parents reading this, I appreciate you and wouldn’t change a thing.} Things happened the way they did for a reason and I can’t sit here and regret or try to change anything.36130_1504547534455_4508619_n
At sixteen, I met at the fair with that cute boy I dated. Let me tell you something: a couple of years sure has a toll on growing up. Holy Wow! Billy and I had been talking a little bit before we met, but that first glance was a game changer. It wasn’t long before we started dating again. But, this time he had a car. {Score!} Our relationship started off strong. And, honestly, if it wasn’t for his comfort and support, I believe I would have gone down a dark path. Family life got really icky. There were a lot of big decisions I had to make. Billy w5989_10201114288240144_773229838_nas on the path toward joining the Marines. I was on a path toward a promising modeling career. Both of which would steer us in opposite directions. Both very good careers. My parents supported me very much with the modeling opportunity. I wasn’t as supportive of myself as they were. It must have been my conservative and modest side, but having to be OK with posing mostly naked just for an interview didn’t settle well with me. Then, the life of a model is no easy road. God really weighed on my heart about this decision. He convicted me not to go through with it, much to the disappointment of my parents. Billy struggled with the decision in joining the Marines. However, he went through everything just to be turned down because of a minor lung issue he had. Nothing serious at all, but it was enough to block that career out.

Our relationship g33906_1688623336235_2999690_nrew stronger as we built it more on Christ. He proposed and I said yes! College time approached and Billy and I had made plans to go to college together in a different town. After many 2 hour trips back and forth to find housing and jobs, the college rejected our financial aid, we couldn’t get a job, and no one would let us rent an apartment. Despite all that rejection, we planned our wedding in 5 months and got married at 18 on September 10th 2010. We went to a community college for a short time before dropping out due to life turning directions…again.

I truly believe it was God’s divine intervention that things happened the way they did. It seemed that as soon as we said yes to God, He made sure to direct us to where he wanted. Every time we would make a decision, God would intervene and steer us toward his plans. He has a special way of speaking to our hearts and convicting us to make certain decisions.
580038_10200804112725950_1652475829_nIt wasn’t long after we got married that we had our first little blessing. Despite God’s presence and guidance, we made some pretty stupid decisions. I think God allows us to make mistakes so that we can grow and learn from that. We are in no way out of the hole we dug ourselves in. Shoot, we own our own home already at 22. And have another little blessing on the way. We may not seem too wise in the eyes of some, but I believe God will not forsake us and will continue to provide for us. And not only provide, but teach us how to better ourselves. We are involved in our church we joined just a couple of years ago. And God is revealing some amazing things there! I couldn’t be more happy with how things are going. Sure, I would like to be more comfortable and stable, but it just makes life that much more interesting.

Throughout my life so far, I have realized that disappointing others is inevitable, you can not expect to get support for every decision you make, and the only thing that matters in this life is following God’s direction and being OK with where you are and knowing that it is for HIS purpose you were made. I’m still learning this every day, week, month and year. But I hope that through this learning experience called life, I’ll be able to help make it a little easier on someone else.
That is why I started this blog. Because, being “typical” isn’t going to get you anywhere in life. Being of the norm isn’t going to get you somewhere different. My focus throughout my life has been to be a rebel against the world and live for God and for his purpose. Trust me, I’m no mo-hock, tattooed, pierced gal. {There is nothing wrong with that! I’m planning my first tattoo myself} I’m just a girl, a wife, a mother, and a follower of Christ in a world where that is the most weirdest thing you could do!

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